Derek the duck swims along,
Whilst the blackbird sings his joyful song.
Derek is an agile swimmer,
Then a farmer shoots him for his dinner.

He takes him back to Mrs Farmer,
Who looks distinctly like a llama.
She puts it in the boiling pot,
The sun is shining, she’s really hot.

She openeth the window and looks at the grass,
Whilst Farmer Giles slaps her ass.
Who works the field pulling carts by day,
And sleepeth at night, betwixt horse and hay.

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“How fair is a garden amid the toils and passions of existence?”

Benjamin Disraeli

Throughout history there have been countless examples of man flexing his technological muscle. Yet, despite all our progress we are still to become the planet’s dominant force. The fact, which the human race seems incapable of comprehending, is that man can never conquer nature, and it is this what we have tried to portray in our work.

The apple is a gift to man from nature and fruit is a core part of our existence. Without his five a day, man would suffer from not having a balanced diet. This said, it is typical of him to wantonly disregard it. When the nail is driven through the fruit it begins to decompose, typifying the destruction of ‘our’ natural world. The fruit becomes inedible and sustenance must be sought elsewhere. If left long enough, the apple will rot to the extent that it completely disappears. Though nailed to the board, the fact remains that it cannot remain there forever. Mankind will never pin down nature.

OR

We wanted to nail an apple to a bit of wood and see if it would win the House Arts and Craft competition at school.

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Haaaayeeeee!

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Birthplace and spiritual home of the Philosopher On Tap movement. The concept was dreamt up one evening by the fireside in the pub.

The original plan was to apply for an Arts Council Grant so that I could fund sitting in the pub talking about issues philosophical. Seemed like a good thing for the Arts Council to be spending my tax money on.

I did intend to spend most of the funding with a PR Agency to publicise the activity but the first Agency I approached couldn’t see the newsworthiness of the project. Where were my philosophic credentials? Who would want to listen? 

They didn’t quite understand the beauty of the concept. That it actually didn’t matter whether I was a real expert in philosphy or not. The concept to me was a work of art in itself, whether I had a queue of people wanting to talk or nobody.

I sacked the PR Agency and in the end didn’t get round to applying for the funding either. Seemed too much like hard work filling out forms. The alternative is this website.

The Morning Star is a traditional beer drinking pub. No restaurant or frills. You go there to talk and drink. It is just off the beaten path of the Bailgate so it doesn’t get filled with tourists.  It and pubs like it hold Philosopher On Tap sessions every day of the year. There are probably more members of the worldwide Philosopher On Tap movement than there are in many major religions.

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In case you’re asking it was chocolate with a chocolate cone and a flake. From the Ice Cream Parlour in the Bail.

Of course how do we know there was ever another half to this ice cream…

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Apparently was used by cattle drovers to crash out. Once they had sold their cattle at the market they would get drunk and crash out in the Rest before going home the next day.

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I reckon someone has stolen some broccoli from the “F”.

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Named after the Lord Tennyson pub on Rasen Lane.  A rarely seen rear view obscured by trees. Not many devotees around at this time on a cold Sunday afternoon in October.

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