Holt it right there. What’s going on here? How is Megan supposed to know what that first verse is all about? I mean to say that even her mum and dad might struggle.

Well actually there’s nothing to it really. Absolutely nothing at all! It is one of those jokey meaningless poems that people sometimes spout, at least Tref does.

Ok Megs is actually a swimmer and she really does play the cello, at least she did so last time I did a gig at her place. Whoever heard of someone playing the cello whilst swimming though?! I guess if she had been playing it on a ship and then accidentally fallen overboard without noticing then she might carry on playing it.

More likely she would be using it to help stay afloat – especially if it was in the Atlantic Ocean – have you seen the size of some of those waves? If I was Megsy I’d be using it as a surf board. It would be of great help if she was wearing a wetsuit at the time though some people might find it strange to see a girl playing a cello in neoprene.

Not much chance of big waves in Wiltshire though, which is actually where Megan lives. Happy Birthday Megsy

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Sometimes it literally does happen with a bang and you bump into each other. In Stella’s case it was metaphoric bang. She had just been ambling along with her mind somewhere else and had stopped by the river bank. There might have been something that had caught her eye but then again there might not.

Anyway there she was and before she realised it there was the duck. They were looking at each other. They actually stood there for some time before either of them made a move. In this case Stella just said “hello duck”. At first the duck said nothing.

Actually Stella hadn’t expected the duck to answer. She was sure that was normal behaviour for ducks. In fact she was sure that normal behaviour was to fly off rapidly in the opposite direction making lots of duck noises, quacks and so forth.

This duck didn’t fly off though. Stella thought it must be a very brave duck, or a bit stupid perhaps. After a while and after, it seemed, giving careful consideration to Stella’s words the duck replied “how do you do?” When it had spoken there was a mischievous lop sided grin on the duck’s face. It knew that Stella would not have expected it to say anything.

Stella’s first thoughts were that this duck was neither brave nor stupid. This must be a very intelligent duck. As intelligent ducks are prone to do though this one didn’t stick around. It took a couple of waddles, flapped its wings and took off for the water. In a second it had joined some of its pals swimming around in the centre of the stream and very quickly Stella realised that she was no longer sure which duck it had been.

“Wow” thought Stella. From that day on whenever she could Stella would go down to the river bank and take a bag of bread with her to feed the ducks. They always came to her and always seemed grateful for the bread. Sometimes she thought she caught one of them looking into her eye with a bit of a lop sided grin on its face, but she was never quite sure and certainly none of the ducks ever spoke to her again…

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With a bulging stomach I gradually dozed off, the early start evidently taking its toll. A few hours later the gang leader smudge woke me and told me to “stop lazing around and do some work” so I grabbed a shoe shine kit and got to work

My luck was beginning to run out; 1 dollar in two hours. Since my shoe shining business was failing I started to beg. The policeman had terrible terms. 75% of earnings went to him. He dug the barrel of his gun into my forehead and told me to comply or die! I decided to start to beg where I was and luckily I was given ten whole dollars. Tourists these days don’t know how much that’s worth. Then I had a massive decision, do I give 75% to the policeman. I decided to risk it and made myself scarce.

I went to the local bakery and bought a heavenly cake, but suddenly a pair of other street kids grabbed it from me and I chased them but I couldn’t catch them.

Towards the end of the day I headed for home, only to find it in ruins. Whilst wandering the streets looking for somewhere to sleep I saw a fast food restaurant, they advertised a burger for 2 dollars, I couldn’t resist the thought of hot food and bought a burger.

At about 7pm I found an adequate place and settled down for the night, what an extraordinary day I’d had.

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After a good session of television watching I filled my bowl to the brim with coco pops. From half past ten till one o’clock I did some boring homework and apart from that nothing much happened.

At One pm I ate lunch consisting of a cheese sandwich, a packet of salt and vinegar crisps, a slice of chocolate cake and a banana. This was all usual apart from the chocolate cake my sister had made as a special treat.

One thirty and at last something exciting happened. By this time my other brother had returned from presenting his radio show and my mother was complaining about being cold. So my brother and I decided to light a fire. Cleverly I thought I knew what do and set and lit the fire. After five minutes it went out. Tom (my brother) had a row at me and said he would do it himself and went to the bottom of the garden to chop more wood, armed with a saw. Meanwhile I settled down to watch a strange film about a detective named Jane Doe whose base is in a super market. 

Worryingly my dad piled in and forced me to change channel. He never wants to watch the television unless. Oh no, the rugby! I sat through half an hour of England, which is not my favourite team, being thrashed by South Africa which was rather entertaining.

Finally my friend Rhys rang up asking if I wanted to play football. I gladly took up his invitation and spent two hours of running up and down a large area of grass he asked me to stay the night.

Half a pizza later I arrived at Rhys’s house and we played on his computer and finally we watched match of the day to end my football filled day. At eleven thirty I finally got to sleep.

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Thursday the 8th at 7 o’clock. 

Tickets £5.00 per person.

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On the eve of the great battle the mighty dragon Dave swept through the Geat dwellings of the plum tree valley after a Geat citizen stole from the dragon’s precious horde.

Dave killed every person he came across and left no building standing, and to the king’s dismay (who was on holiday in Rome) that included his 40 ft hall.

This angered Beowulf and he returned in such a hurry that he forgot to remove his bathing clothes.  When Beowulf returned his kingdom was in ruins. He went for revenge.

Beowulf marched to the entrance to Dave’s Lair dressed in his finest gold plated armour with a body length iron shield and his favourite sword Boris, named after a successful mayor of one of his provinces.

Dave appeared accepting the challenge. The fight began. For about 15 minutes the two kept each other busy dashing and darting everywhere locked in mortal combat.

Suddenly Beowulf lunged at Dave but  Boris bounced off the thick scales. He struck again, Boris snapped! The dragon broke through and dealt Beowulf a deadly blow. Beowulf, reached for his hunting  knife and plunged it into Dave’s stomach. They both bled to death. The Geats were saved but they had lost their precious war hero.

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My first item would be a lever arch file, you may ask; why a boring old folder that can be found in any stationary shop? But it’s not the folder, its’s inside this particular folder that the sentimental items are kept. Ever since I was young my parents have gathered any certificates that I came to win and stored them in this folder. This folder and its content have the capability to bring back many fond memories.

The second is a family photo, but, not just any old photo solely of the people who live in your house but also of cousins, aunts and uncles and grandparents and so on. I am sure you will agree that it is nice to have a memory of that special aunty or grandparent, who just made your life that much better, after they’ve gone like you or I will one day do too……sadly.

Next I would place my trumpet, if it would fit. So far in life trumpeting has been an enjoyable hobby of mine. If my career was to be a musician I could back and say” I remember those days.”

Still on the subject of hobbies I would put a picture of me in my kayak. Although I have not done this hobby as long as being a musician it is still just as enjoyable as playing the trumpet.

Finally I would place in my lifelong companion ted-ert. The name came to me when I was fairly young, I decided that if the name rob was short for Robert then ted must be short for ted- ert. Every night I would lie in my bed and ted-ert would help me sleep. He even came on the long plane journey to America when I was young.

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