Archive for the ‘chinks’ Category

What’s it going to be like with the Olympics?

Saturday, October 8th, 2011

…whatsis name now oh hang on, Vince Cable worra lump of wood – its unbelievable they don’t know nothing guv they don’t know what’s going on in the country.  God they should get themselves out and about a bit more guv, they should get themselves out west, go west.

You’ve only got to go 8 miles, 10 miles west the whole area, the whole area Ruislip, Ickenham, Hillingdon, Feltham, Hayes, Pakistanis and Bangladeshis.  Slough is a war zone, the police won’t even come out in Slough. You call the police they won’t even bother to come out.  They’ve got the Rumanians, the Bulgarians, the Poles they stand on street corners, 20 or 30 men. 20 or 30 of them there they stand on street corners and all they’re looking at is to kill each other. It’s unbelievable. It’s unbelievable and we’ve let it go and it’s too late now to stop it.

I’m a bit upset today because I was playing golf this morning but (more…)

The October Paradox

Sunday, October 2nd, 2011

Tshirt and shorts with bare feet contrast with the hard to walk on lawn covered in wrinkle  dry  leaves painful to the naked touch. The start of autumn and end of the summer overlap, rugby  replacing cricket but rainless scorch remains. Panic strikes a production-eased ice cream industry settling down for the off season. Perspiration drips off my nose and onto the table.

Scottish roadside signs

Sunday, August 7th, 2011

Soft tyres waste fuel
Always wear a lifejacket on or near water
Be a courteous driver
Don’t drive tired
Watch your speed
Drive carefully
Drive to road conditions
Tiredness can kill, take a break
Heavy rain and flooding forecast, drive with care
Don’t text while driving, don’t risk it

Back over the border the nature of the signs changed:
A1 (S) night closure, 14th August

After forty years of mortarboard and gown

Sunday, July 17th, 2011

The outgoing headmaster is far from retiring,
It’s pastures new, not out to grass,
His mark is made, register overflowing,
On final examination, the best in class.

For Mr Paul Strong who after 25 years is moving on from William Farr School to pursue other projects.

real live son in action

Friday, June 10th, 2011

I can hear the 2nd movement of “Allegro Handel sonata as dur” resonating through the house, filling every corner with the rich flowing sound of trumpet. Glass of wine in hand I lean back, eyes shut, and soak it in. It is a particular source of pride. No CD, no MP3, just real live son in action.

it’s only natural

Tuesday, June 7th, 2011

Speeded up 5 x by mistake – tis by such flukes that great discoveries are made. This isn’t one of them but someone might want to confirm the bird species?

The aeroplane

Friday, June 3rd, 2011

clouds

I have woken up
We sit obediently in rows
Occupied with our own musings
Watching the map of a flight path
That moves too slowly
Eagerly anticipating every small change

plane

Frankfurt, Mainz, Bonn Cologne
Staring ahead at the curtains that separate
The poor from the privileged occupants
Of the business class cabin
The duty free trolley makes it’s way
Pushed by stereotypes
Aachen, Eindhoven, Utrecht, Brussels,
One hour to go and the drinks trolley
Interrupts the monotony
It is a disappointment.
I wonder if the man and woman
Sat next to me are a couple
They both have the same ebook reader
But have not said a word to each other
He orders a Ginger ale and sits there in contemplation
Watching the bubbles
Something to do, reads the list of ingredients
And squeezes the last drops out of the can
Looks a bit like Lenin.
The English channel finally appears on the map
And I can see good old Norwich

Norwich
Looks a beautiful cloudless day out there,
I miss the Internet connection
We are cocooned, insulated from the world
Revolutions and tsunamis go unnoticed
Their ripples do not reach thirty thousand feet
Dinners burn and children scrape their knees but we are oblivious
And completely unfocussed,
Lives revolve around new major decisions
Shall I get up to go to the toilet?
Is there a queue?
Man reads his book
Having memorized the inflight magazine on the outward journey
Bruges, Dunkerque, NORTH SEA,
Upper case copied faithfully from the monitor
147 miles to go, thats downhill
My ears pop and the couple have a nuzzle
He whispers something and she laughs
Two little girls watch a movie on what looks like an iPad
Open mouthed, blue and pink headsets
That keep the rest of us thankfully ignorant.
The captain pushes the joystick forward
Assuming they still have joysticks in commercial airlines
I imagine he is reliving the old days in the RAF,
Take her down Caruthers, enemy fighters at one o clock
My ears pop again and I wonder what book she is reading.
I will never find out. Also I don’t want to be disappointed
I don’t want to find out it is some trash novel, or highbrow history
Which would reveal something about her.
After three hours of non communication I want her to remain mysterious
Rush hour at Heathrow and we are in a holding pattern
30 minutes to landing
Aaah I looked, the book is called Bone Magic
Will have to look it up later
We bank again as the plane flies in circles
Eeeeoooww dakadakadaka got him that time Biggles
The fields down below are green squares
I see no plane plummet, plume streaming from punishing
Machine gun bullets fired by ace pilot
Perhaps they can see it out of the other windows
No matter
The nose lifts up slightly as the captain tries to hold her
The muscles on his face tense as he fights the G forces
Beads of sweat appear and the stewardess arrives with a flannel to mop his brow.
Ooh you are brave captain!
He regains control and the aircraft gets back on an even keel
The passengers all cheer and a woman names her baby after him
Someone on the row in front adjusts the air jet above their head
And the kids movie appears to have ended because
Juvenile American accents are now to be heard
Down below rows of ordered red bricks appear
Suburbia disappears in scattered cloud
I don’t suppose they are both reading the same book.
Newspaper read by man in front “Septic Sepp, FIFA in scandal”
I don’t want to know, I am in a cocoon dammit
Their model of ebook is called a nook.
Will have to look that one up
Probably a BOGOF or maybe 50% off the second if purchased at the same time, I don’t know
Woman on the other side of the aisle cuddles bloke
The daylight indicator on the map shows we are approaching the middle of the day.
Casablanca, Alexandria, food for thought, fuel for the imagination
Close those eyes and picture the palm trees. No breeze so no swaying although occasionally a coconut is heard dropping to the desert sand
God its hot
Ahah, cabin crew ten minutes to landing!
The plane perks up and the toilet facilities are no longer available
Remaining drinks containers (ok plastic ups) are collected
And I have to switch off…

The eagle has landed

BA675 non stop Istanbul to London Heathrow, 3rd July 2011

Platform 3

Friday, June 3rd, 2011

“Staff Only” ,
Door opens,
Team strides out,
Bag in hand,
Insulated travel mugs
Primed and ready to go,
That look of purpose,
Professionals with a job to do,
A train to drive,
Tickets to check,
The driver guard combo,
Immaculate turnout.

Passengers look on,
Couple with pink expanding suitcase,
Unshaven old man in grey suit,
Black Labrador dog at his side,
Make no comment,
Nothing registers.

I check my phone for messages.

The June sun brightens up the morning and
The train pulls in to platform 3

The Piccadilly Alternative

Wednesday, May 18th, 2011

The next station is…
Kings X – 11 stops to go
Russell Square – don’t get off here unless your name is Russell
Holborn – hmm
Covent Garden – party-time ‘n flaars
Leicester Square – nowhere near Leicester guv’nor and not pronounced lie sester
Piccadilly Circus – alright Jim?
Green Park – for a picnic
Hyde Park Corner – watch out for the traffic
Knightsbridge – only if you’re posh
South Kensington – just as posh really
Up and down the – Gloucester Road?
Earls Court – will do fine
…for what it’s worth.

A night of deep reflection

Sunday, May 8th, 2011

That night a lone trumpeter climbed to the top of the castle walls and, facing outwards, sounded the last post. The mood around town was sombre. This was a night to focus the mind. People sat in pubs in their accustomed seats but the usual Saturday night banter was absent.

The notes from the trumpet brought everywhere to a dead silence. Walkers stopped walking, passing cars pulled in and, inside, juke boxes were turned off. As the music faded away everywhere remained still as folk contemplated what lay ahead…

The Blue Square Bet Premier league.

PUSHING BACK THE TIDE – ISLAND DUET

Monday, April 25th, 2011

Travelling hopefully

I was buried in the music,
old time stuff,
the same songs,
time again,
too loud,
random wanderings

the red sunset
added a touch of magic
to a seaborne pallet
totally calm
the island silhouette
unfamiliar, exotic

Sunday night and wide awake,
clear of mind, imagination fuelled

Arrived – day 1 – rocks at Peel castle

At the edge of the sea I sat, waiting, with expectations of the tide, almost full in. The soak of the bolder wave did not come.

Lands edge was final. There could be nowhere else, no other place, an ending.

I was completely alone though not companionless. My thoughts ran quiet amusements whilst around me the water swirled and pulsated; timeless beats of an incomprehensible song.

I asked no questions. There were no answers.

The Bird Feeder Episode 3

Friday, April 8th, 2011

The third in a series of exciting/mildly interesting/relaxing (delete as appropriate) videos showing birds feeding in our back garden. Action at around 4 minutes.

The Bird Feeder Episode 2

Friday, April 8th, 2011

The second in a series of relaxing videos showing birds feeding in our back garden. Action at 6 and 14 minutes.

The Bird Feeder

Thursday, April 7th, 2011

Take some time out, relax, and watch the bird feeder. Don’t expect huge activity but patience is rewarded.

footsteps

Saturday, March 26th, 2011

Footsteps
Large decaff skinny latte please
Thank you
Cchhsshhwooosshh
2 65 please
Thank you
Sound of till opening and coins jangling
2 35 change
Thank you
There you go (hands over drink)
Spoons just at the end of the counter
Sound of footsteps walking out.