fallen,
dead on the floor, unwanted nuisance, brushed aside,
shrivelled up shadows of their former selves,
serve little purpose other than fertiliser,
impotent and no longer productive,
degenerate, rotting, eaten by disease,
forgotten by spring…
This piece shows the fusion of a number of different art forms and is quintessentially philosopherontap. Constructed from an original loose pile of bricks bound with a traditional sand and cement mix the wall represents a society that has regained its sense of proportion. It is a mixture of artesanal endeavour combined with a wry sense of perspective that is not always in tune.
Photographed on location in Lincoln at the house of the artist. Offers over £500k will be considered.
Mix a pound of minced lamb with a wodge of chopped chorizo. Add a couple of chopped red chillies, a hunk of coriander, salt and pepper and mix thoroughly. Split into four burgers and hand shape. Fry for a suitable amount of time and towards the end crumble some cheese on top. No need to add oil into the pan as the burgers have plenty of fat. Cover the pan with an ovenproof bowl to melt the cheese. If necessary add some water into the pan to steam and heat the cheese. Whilst your burger is cooking put two halves of a bun cut face down into the frying pan to toast. I also chopped a couple of chestnut mushrooms and cooked alongside the burger.
Eat with salad and a dressing of your choice. We used mango, lime and chilli.
I had to upload this photo as a contrast with the shot from the summit of Snowdon last weekend. It was, as may be seen, taken in London under clear blue skies. It is a fairly rare sight in the UK. It wouldn’t have been possible last year, partly because it was taken with a Samsung Galaxy S4 which has the capability of using the forward and rear facing cameras simultaneously. I only got that phone a couple of weeks ago. I normally reserve this type of comment for trefor.net.
Philosopherontap is all about where art collides. trefor.net is about fusion of tech. Well now you are seeing art colliding with technology.
Food seems to be a theme of the moment. This time we are featuring the humble bacon sandwich. I say humble but really the bacon sandwich is royalty in the culinary world on a par with the finest dishes served by the best chefs in their Michelin starred palaces.
There are many ways of serving the bacon sandwich. Individuals will have their own views as to the best way and who is to say they aren’t all right. This is a highly subjective matter.
In the analysis that follows the various variables for each aspect of the making of a bacon sandwich are discussed and my own preferred recipe is offered as a benchmark. Rank others in comparison, better or worse, as you see fit.
The bacon
The choice of bacon is of fundamental importance. In the first instance any bacon that comes in a package labelled BOGOF should be avoided at all cost. This will be cheap water filled rubbish. The slices will be so thin you will be able to see through them and when cooking the bacon will emit a yukky white substance that apparently is part of the preservative injected into the meat during processing. The water will steam the bacon and you will find it very difficult to get the right “finish”.
Reality is it is difficult to find any bacon that doesn’t have the white stuff in it. Experimentation will allow you to identify the brand that suits you best. Look for the words “dry cure” and “thick cut”. Your are most likely to find the best bacon at a real butchers and not in a supermarket. You have been warned.
There is a valid debate on whether to use back bacon or streaky. Streaky is undoubtedly more flavoursome due to its having more fat but back does tend to provide a meatier filling. The American habit of over-frying streaky is usually to be avoided and American bacon tends to be too salty.
The bread
The best bread to use for a bacon sandwich is undoubtedly crusty white unsliced. You can use pre-sliced crusty white but the uniformity of the slice doesn’t quite feel right. Self-slicing produces a variation in cut that suits the rustic nature of this sandwich and makes for a different culinary experience at each meal1.
The mass produced sliced white bread that comes with brand names advertised on television is not appropriate for a bacon sandwich unless you are a guest at someone’s house and your host is providing the breakfast. One assumes in this instance that a considerable amount of beer was downed the night before and you are pretty grateful for anything that staves off the after-effects of the evening.
Under no circumstances should brown bread be used and if rolls are the only option the posher they are the better.
The debate over toasting has raged long and hard. Toasting the bread for your bacon sandwich is perfectly acceptable though it is a shame to do this if the bread is really fresh. Toasting crusty white bread more than two days old is the preferred method for this age of bread.
The bread/toast should be buttered. Margarine doesn’t cut it. Some people are known to prefer no butter. Whilst this is acceptable it should be understood that a bacon sandwich made without butter is never going to reach perfection.
Grilling versus frying
This is a bit of a no brainer really. Frying always produces the best flavour in a bacon sandwich. Grilling shrinks the meat more. Lard is the best option for oil although it is recognised that the use of lard is controversial to the point of unacceptability in the modern health conscious society. Cooking oil is an acceptable alternative and need not be applied in large quantities. The fats from the meat will soon seep into the pan and provide the ideal base for frying. If cheapo bacon is being used then grilling will at least allow the water and white rubbish to drip off but you should take care to at least double the number of slices you were planning to use per person.
A minimum of two slices of bacon should normally be used but three or more are acceptable. Ideally the bacon once fried will have some crispy fat bits and some darker brown areas on the meat itself.
Unlike sausages which benefit from slow cooking, for best effect bacon should be cooked on a highish heat. We are looking for the right combination of softness and crispness and a slow cook will tend to err towards the soft side.
Seasoning
By seasoning I mean red sauce/brown sauce/no sauce. This is entirely a personal choice. The purist will almost certainly opt for “naked” but I am a brown sauce man. HP only. You can tell the difference. Tomato ketchup should be reserved for burgers and hot dogs.
Variety
It is perfectly respectable to experiment with different varieties to accompany the basic bacon filling. Mushrooms (fried) tomatoes (fried or uncooked – as you like) or even lettuce and tomato for the classic BLT are fine with added mayo. Bacon and lettuce without the tomato is a bit weird and should probably be avoided. Other filling combinations may be possible but are straying well away from the pure form. For example bacon and egg sandwiches should better be described as a “breakfast sandwich”.
Vegetarian bacon sandwiches
Nah!
Other bacon sandwich stories
In my experience the bacon sandwich is the one meat dish that is likely to convert vegetarians back to being carnivores (or omnivores/woteva) and I often use this as an icebreaker with people I have never met before but who are introduced to me as vegetarians – maybe at dinner. I tried this recently with a woman and she totally blanked me saying that it was never a problem. Set the tone for the whole evening. I found out weeks later that she was Jewish! Ah well!! A vegetarian friend told me that this conversation piece was as old as the hills and very boring. Ah well!!! Won’t stop me using it though…
Conclusion
So there you have it. The perfect bacon sandwich uses decent dry cured thick cut back bacon, probably sourced from a local butcher and fried. The bread needs to be fresh self sliced crusty white. The bread may be toasted if a couple of days old. The bread should be buttered and contain sensible amounts of HP sauce.
Serve with a fresh pot of tea and a glass of milk.
Bacon sandwich making displays are available to hire – perfect for that morning after situation. Please contact Philosopherontap for details.
1 I am careful to use the word meal here as opposed to breakfast. Whilst the bacon sandwich is classically served at breakfast there is no convention that suggests its eating at other mealtimes to be inappropriate.
Na na na naa naa naa naa naaa na na
Na naa na naa naa, naa na naaa
Na na na naa naa naa naa naaa na na
Na naa na naa naa, naa na naaa
Na na naa naa naa naa na naa naaa
Na na naa naa naa naa na naaa
Naa naaa na na na naaa
Naa naaa na na na naaa
Naa naa, naa naa, naa na na naa
Naa naa nan a na naaa.
Vive la republique!
Alternative French national anthem sung whilst on rugby tour to France
Na na na naa naa naa naa naaa na na
Na naa na naa naa, naa na naaa
Na na na naa naa naa naa naaa na na
Na naa na naa naa, naa na naaa
Na na naa naa naa naa na naa naaa
Na na naa naa naa naa na naaa
Ou est le papier?
Ou est le papier?
Naa naaa na na na naaa
Naa naa, naa naa, naa na na naa
Ou est le papier?
Quinze bierre encore sil vous plait
speaks for itself. sign of the times – a bus stop in Hamburg.
The extreme sport of fridge running as demonstrated at the Lincoln 10k race. Fridge running is a latter day phenomenon, largely because the refrigerator is a relative new invention in the timeline of the modern era. One hundred years ago, or less, the only means of maintaining food at low temperatures was the simple pantry. This was at least the case for the majority of the population whose gardens were too small to accommodate an ice house.
Whilst the pantry had some benefits, not the least of which was that it was a large walk in store that would be pretty cool (pun intended) in a modern kitchen where space is often at a premium it was totally impractical to carry around on one’s back.
This is where the modern fridge excels. As well as keeping food colder for longer than the pantry, provided the seal is not compromised, it is easier to strap onto your back for the purpose of fridge running. In this scenario the running performance is not compromised by the state of the seal though a mouldy seal is undesirable for cosmetic purposes. The problem is easily overcome by the light application of a proprietary cleansing cream that is easily wiped off leaving the rubber seal as new.
Fridge running is an elite sport with few exponents. To some extent this is due to the immense physical strength and endurance required of its participants but also because it does demand an element of eccentricity that characterised the mad dogs and Englishmen of midday sun fame you have to be a nutter.
There is considerable strategy involved in fridge running. It isn’t just a question of hoiking the fridge on your back and running. The strategy adopted will vary by length of race. Long races conducted in hotter than ideal conditions offer the opportunity to stock the fridge with supplies of chilled liquids (not beer – beer is not recommended for fridge running unless it is for the benefit of supporters positioned along the route or for resale to spectators as part of the commercial opportunity generated by the growing interest in the sport).
Clearly a balance has to be struck between the problems associated with carrying a heavier fridge and the benefits brought to the runner by it’s contents. This is very much an individual judgement and no attempt is made here to define the optimum load set.
I hope you enjoy the video. Please take the opportunity to watch other random Lincoln 10k snippets on my YouTube channel. None are as interesting as this but you might see someone you know:)
Ciao baby…
Latest in a series of surreal photos not taken by Salvador Dali. A fusion of food and art. click on the photo to find out where we were.
Sounds like a version of an Arabic greeting – Middle Eastern language meets Italian food item. Eat and greet.
Did Roman legions march up Bunkers Hill, battling their way through traffic to Skegness? As they left the safety and confines of their city was it understood they were passing a special place? Maybe.
Did St Hugh tending his stone-carrying flock of Cathedral builders stand atop the quarry spreading his spirituality wide. He might.
This place is special. You feel it as you walk the grid. The names stand out. Stukeley Cl, Ross Cl, Alexander Wlk, Warren Ct, Exley Sq. Take them in, roll them off the tongue, digest.
No heart of empire can compare. Howe Ct, Novona Ho, Olsen Ri, Olsen Ct, Stark Wy. Badges of history, worn with fierce communal pride.
Onwards to Putnam Wy, Pitcairn Av, Palatine Ho, Padley Rd, Pigot Wy; the five pioneering ps personified, lack nothing, dream of adventure.
Reed Dr, Venables Way, Marrat Cl, Carlton Sq. Memory sticking, ship launching handles of twenty one gun salutes and squadron leaders’ flypasts.
Then the great names: Outer Circle Road, Wolsey Way, Carlton Blvd and, of course, again, Bunkers Hill. Great corpuscular arteries, commercial lifeblood, food and drink.
And finally, the Carlton Centre. Grand central market, bread basket, meeting place, holiday booking point.
Go there. Spend time. See life happen. Be.
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Do not be fooled.
These streets, paved with gold,
glisten with bent back sweat,
dripped and sleeve dried of narrow eyes
that hurt in the salt soaked sunshine
and half moon light.
No riches.
Simple broken ends, hammered by the waves
and buried by the mocking seagull’s cry.
bright eyes watch
ripple shudders
penetrating heat
hisss es