scrawl shmawl

Life continues. We do appear to be over the worst of it. Infection rates dropping, numbers in hospital going down and most importantly mortality rates headed in the right direction. Each day we look at the graphs and try to extrapolate the data to see the point at which we regain our freedom.

Freedom means being able to stand at the bar. Standing at the bar is by no means the be all and end all but reaching that point must mean that restrictions are finally over. In the meantime Transport Minister Grant Shapps has apparently advised against booking any holidays yet, be it overseas or in the UK. The country is full of tension, like a drawn bow waiting to be let go.

Although it is still too early to tell I’d say the drop off in the curve is steeper than the first time around.

Sat on an industry webinar/online meeting. About Microsoft Teams fwiw. Just have it running in the background. Some of these shindigs are pretty useful. This one has 150 attendees right now which is quite a high number. A few people aren’t on mute and so we have had the occasional interrupt – phone ringing or simlar. In the meantime I’m scribbling this.

The concept of scribbling on a computer doesn’t quite sound right. However it is essentially the same. I realise that scribbling brings with it the notion of illegibility or untidiness. Certainly the case with me. So doing it on a computer at least allows people to understand what I’m writing. Actually it allows me to understand what I’m writing. 

My handwriting was bad before the word processor came along. Having used a computer of some sort for pretty much all my adult life (ok ok I still haven’t really grown up) I can no longer do what used to be termed as joined up writing. If I want people to understand what I’ve written I have to write it down in block capitals and it takes me ages.

To take this conversation further I’ve been pondering getting back into the letter writing game. It is all too easy to send an email or IM. Letters are far more valuable and personal. The problem is that the ultimate letter needs to be handwritten but in my case it would take too long to write. My thinking is that the compromise is to type the letter, print it off and sign it. This is what I will probs do but it doesn’t sit perfectly in my thinking. 

The next decision is who to write to. It would be nice to think that sending out letters would result in replies and perhaps an ongoing correspondence. My natural inclination is also to post copies of the letters on philosopherontap as I don’t like not using anything I write. Even drafts are important. Think if we had copies of all 200 or so drafts of Dylan Thomas’ poem “Do not go gentle unto this good night”. What an insight that would provide into Dylan Thomas’ creative process. I realise that some artists only want you to be able to see the end result that they are happy with. 

The notion of publishing what is essentially private correspondence with specific individuals also doesn’t feel totally right but it is still part of one’s oeuvre, if I can put it like that. Historically such material would only come to light after the death of one of the correspondents. Maybe that’s fine. No harm in leaving a bit of your legacy to surface sometime after you are long gone. After all we love it when a long lost play or perhaps a recording session comes to light after the creator has died.

There is also the issue of whether anyone gives a toss. This is a mental hurdle you have to overcome if you create things. When I first decided I was interested in poetry I looked around online to see what was going on in that space. Perhaps somewhere I might publish my own stuff. I joined the poetry society and entered one of their regular competitions. My offering got nowhere and the winner when announced clearly fitted in with what the poetry establishment considered to be good poetry. It felt as if there had to be structure and meaning.

I decided that the poetry society was not where it was at for me, if for nothing else how could they really spot relevant and good stuff when the had thousands or even tens of thousands of entries for each competition (I can’t remember the exact number). I looked elsewhere and found some enthusiast sites with stuff that in my mind was total crap. It wasn’t really fair of me to say that as what makes good poetry is totally in the mind of the individual.

Anyway that was probably one of the drivers in starting my own site. It isn’t really a poetry site although it does contain poetry. The point is the content is not really for anyone else but me. It would be nice to think that others liked what I wrote but that is a bonus. I buy other people’s poetry books but rarely dwell on them or read them cover to cover. Poetry is really for the poet. Smythinking. I rarely write poetry nowadays but never say never. 

This lockdown 2 series is a sort of record of lockdown but also just somewhere to park stuff written at the time. Ideally it is much more than a list of things wot i did during lockdown. You be the judge 🙂

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