arrers at Ally Pally

Pretty sure I was the oldest bloke at the darts last night. You struggle to believe that such an event can happen, in real life. Most people were there in fancy dress and we picked up some Paddypower green santa hats in an attempt to blend in. Most people were totally bladdered by the end of the first game. In fact they were mostly bladdered before the start of the first game.

The darts on the stage pretty soon became incidental with the crowd being more preoccupied with goading others around them to down pints in one. I got away without having to do so, largely because I imagine I was old enough to be at least their father.

A few observations stuck in my mind. One guy was wearing a Christmas jumper with the words Feliz Navi Darts. Then another bloke in a very fetching top and skirt remarked that security had “confiscated my tits” and one of the Germans sat near to me on the back row must have had an upset tummy because he was unwell over the back railings. 

There was a queue for the cubicles in the gents, which surprised me and I assumed it was because they needed to remove their fancy dress in order to use the loo. Then someone who knows these things told me it was for other nefarious reasons and out of sight of the security guard who was permanently stationed inside the gents loos. I have never been anywhere before where there was a security guard in the toilets. I live a very sheltered existence.

On a more mundane sporting level I was quite surprised that it took almost an hour before we saw our first one hundred and eighty and I noted that they replaced the dart board with a new one after every game.

We got through quite a number of jugs of Neck Oil and just before the nine pee em cutoff for selling jugs our John went to the bar and came back with two more. By the time I left, before the end of the second game we still had unconsumed beer which presumably Johnny boy dispatched. There was no way the darts were going to finish before the notional closing time of eleven pee em.

Carnage it might have been but what a great night out. I feel as if I don’t need to go to another darts evening but am glad I went to this one. I shall resign my membership of the Professional Darts Corporation happy in the knowledge that I took full advantage of my year following the ocky.

Today, Sunday, I have some time to kill before meeting my heir apparent, Tom, to watch the Liverpeul v Man u game later this afternoon. I could almost envisage spending the day relaxing in the hotel were it not for the fact that this hotel is not particularly conducive to this. I might pop down to the lounge to check out the vibes.

The hotel is full of tourists, fair play. There are nicer times of the year to come to visit London but I guess people go for winter breaks. Wrap up well 🙂 I suppose I am a tourist this weekend meself.

Leave a Reply