Cookerman Chris

Dunno about you but I have become extremely adept at filtering out the news on the wireless. We have it on at bedtime and when we wake up. I rarely hear any of it. I am particularly good at not hearing the likes of Jacob Rees Moggy who annoys the pants off me. Dunno why his ilk gets coverage. Only because they whinge about bias if they don’t. I don’t watch the news on the telly.

If there was any good news that would be ok. In fact I probably do hear the good news. Sbeen a while though.

This morning we have Chris, the cooker repair man coming to sort out the right hand oven. Our cooker is knocking on a bit. Must be in its twenties. Apparently that is old for a cooker nowadays. White goods are getting to be like mobile phones. Designed only to last a few years and then replaced. Before we know it we will be getting offered subscriptions with built in cooker upgrades and gas/electricity included. Ignore ‘em folks. Much cheaper to buy your cooker outright. Our cooker is black btw, not white.

Glamping and bus tickets now sold out for trefbash. You will now need to make your own transport and accommodation arrangements. Number nineteen bus brings you to the door of the venue. Also trust me you wouldn’t have wanted to kip in a bell tent in Central London in December anyway even if phone charging points were included. 

Mind you now that Cruella Braverman has been sacked it would be perfectly safe. The cops aren’t going to move you on.  Free food and champagne provided with your ticket so you aren’t going to waste away. Too late now anyway. As I said, all glamping and bus tickets sold out. One Woodstock ticket left and a few Glasto. Only 3 weeks today until the bash.

In the meantime I am still waiting for Chris to let me know what time he is coming. I’m booked into a stretch and flex class at ten thirty and ideally don’t want to clash with that. Cooker needs fixing. How on earth do folk manage without two ovens!!!

We would have to implement plan B at Christmas and get a takeaway curry on the big day. This has been done before. We did have to fetch the curry the night before and reheat on the day. This will obvs involve an oven but one would be fine. 

The curry was fine as an experiment but we reverted to a roast in subsequent years. Beef not turkey. Turkey is too bland and vastly overrated. Anyway it’s far too early to discuss the merits of different menu choices at Christmas. Save that for the week before.

In the meantime the annual call for who wants what for Christmas has gone out and suggestions have been trickling in. I always ask for the same thing every year. Nothing purchased. Something created by the donor. If push comes to a shove a nice pair of socks. If I want something I’ve probably already bought it. Within reason. Being sensible like.

I would quite like a boat but there is an old saying if it floats or flies you’re better off renting it. If we had a decent coastline that would change things. We decided not to keep our house in the Isle of Man as we wouldn’t use it enough but if we had that would be a good time to buy a boat. Just a little day boat for popping out on a nice day. Bit of basking shark spotting. Stuff like that. Not an ocean going job.

Green light means go. 

Just in case you didn’t know.

Made that up as we were sat at the lights on the way back from the gym just now. Good innit. Far friendlier than red light spells danger.

Cookerman Chris is here. There is no feedback as yet concerning progress but I feel he is better left to it. I know bugger all about fixing cookers. THG is in the house ready to provide support with cups of tea etc.

Actually I could probs learn to be a cooker repair man. However why bother when we can just give Chris a bell.

By Trefor Davies

.-- . .-.. .-.. / .... . .-.. .-.. --- / ... - .-. .- -. --. . .-. .-.-.- / .-- .... .- - / -.. --- / -.-- --- ..- / - .... .. -. -.- ..--..

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *