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57 Varieties the art gallery

still life

apples, pears, a bit of melon, a blue and orange vase with yellow flowers

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the art gallery

birdbath in winter

just a birdbath in winter

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the art gallery

useful things to know #103,658,373,856,352,418

the wifi passcode – only any use if you know which access point it is for 🙂

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the art gallery

Exhibit A

Breadknife on beech butcher’s block, March 2018. The knife is part of a set that was purchased some years ago and is regularly used for the purpose of slicing bread.

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the art gallery

Coffee Roasting – a bird’s eye view

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the art gallery

Unrequited Facebook Love

rejected Facebook friend requests

plus a couple of dodgy Twitter followers

facebook friend request

facebook friend request

facebook friend request

facebook friend request

facebook friend request

facebook friend request

facebook friend request

facebook friend request

facebook friend request

facebook friend request

facebook friend request

facebook friend request

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the art gallery

mind the gap

advice for the traveller

the gap

gap

mind, the gap

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the art gallery

Manhole cover out of Grimsby by Market Rasen

Fowler & Holden

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the art gallery

unwanted toast

unbuttered and unmourned

At first sight you wouldn’t know this toast was unwanted. It was brought to the table in anticipation of butter being spread on one side and then devoured as an accompaniment to the full English that lay on a larger plate to its right.

I am here to tell you this was not the reality of the sitch. The unwanted toast now lies discarded in the kitchen swing bin together with an empty milk carton and other detritus of the culinary process. Were it not for this photograph this piece of toast would have disappeared off the map of human consciousness. Forgotten and unmourned.

It still lays unmourned. An insignificant entry in the human timeline. Goodbye toast. At the final reckoning you meant nothing.

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the art gallery

Sycamore seeds

fall on stony ground

best place for them. we don’t want them on our lawn.

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the art gallery

the last mince pie

fitting end to Christmas

a moment of quiet contemplation if you please

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the art gallery

bread and jam

strawberry conserve with champagne

simple things in life

Part of the role of art in our society is to challenge the established order. This photograph does this very successfully, posing the question “is this bread the wrong way round”.

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the art gallery

lingering death of a tree

long and slow

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the art gallery

Staring down the barrel of a gun

trust nobody

You think we live in a nice provincial town. Rarely get any trouble around here eh? Open your eyes. There are instruments of violence all around you. Even here in the bustling tourist heartland of the city known as the cathedral quarter it is possible to find yourself staring down the barrel of a gun. You need to think about what you might do in such situations. Here are a few pointers to get you started.

Trust no one and carry your own means of defense.
Watch your back
Avoid dark alleys
Carry a personal alarm
Carry a concealed gun or blade
Always move about in groups
Stick to well lit highways
Never get out of your car
Don’t live in Emurica
Attend martial arts classes

You have better go prepared. Don’t trust anyone. You could be in for a blade between the shoulders or a cannon ball between the eyebrows.

Happy Christmas from the philosopHerontap security team

Advisory note: Please make sure that any advice you follow is legal in your own jurisdiction. We wouldn’t want the forces of law and order deciding that society would be safer with you in the slammer.

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chinks the art gallery

The three servers

at the castle cafe

Picture the scene. You walk into a cafe. There aren’t many in although it still looks a little crowded because some guy with a pram is blocking access to a chunk of space. I amble up to the small counter glancing sideways at the blackboard. It’s the usual stuff. Latte, flat white, cappuccino, teas of various flavours. I decide on a lah tay.

Behind the counter there are three members of staff, all looking smart is green aprons. I stand there. They stand there. This inanimate state continues for a few seconds. “Quite interesting” I think. I am a customer and they are paid to sell me stuff and,  having handed over my cash, deliver that which is now rightfully mine.

I wasn’t annoyed. Just bemused at the situation. I would quite happily have stood there for ten minutes not being served. The situation had artistic merit. In fact that is what it is. A living work of art. We all stand there, three of the participants being oblivious to the presence of the fourth despite the fact that they are staring right at him.

It was almost disappointing that all three eventually jolted themselves out of their reverie and the person nearest the till, presumably the most junior, took my order.  I moved into another, empty and more spacious room, with my lah tay and awaited a toasted tea cake. The mince pies weren’t ready yet.