what makes you think you matter or make a difference? your footfall makes no imprint. no noise above the sound of deafening mediocrity. no matter how big your shoes you are irrelevant. forget it, as you are already forgotten.
1 May 2010
Rainfall measurement techniques #1
- hold spectacles horizontally at arm’s length, front of lenses pointing upwards
- remember where the door is (this bit is to a large extent dependent on your prescription strength)
- open door and quickly thrust arm out as far as you can reach – note no upward sweeping movements of arm
- have independent timekeeper count to five seconds – recommend the one thousand and one, one thousand and two etc method
- outstretched arm must be free of all interference – ensure no collateral precipitation occurs from guttering, pub sign above door etc. artificial drips play havoc with the measurements and lessen the accuracy of results. if (more…)
19 April 2010
the #ashtag rap
When I was in Tesco – looking for Tabasco
I came across a shelf that was empty of goods
I asked them where the sauce was they said they had no more because
The volcanic ash cloud stopped all the planes
17 April 2010
sleep
shoulders slump
eyes shut I can hear birds in the garden
the spring sunshine streams through the conservatory roof
heart beat slows almost to a halt, head nods forward, soon I will no longer be awake…………………………………………………………………………
dog quotes from Saturday 17th April
I saw a man walking a dog. I thought it was a pig.
woof woof. all dogs must be kept on a lead. woof woof.
it’s a dog’s life.
come by shep, wheeet, wheeet.
siiittt
16 April 2010
10 April 2010
cans of lager
can of lager
can of lager
psshtttt
psshtttt
can of lager
can of lager
psshtttt
psshtttt
5 April 2010
Guest Beers at the Victoria April 1st 2010
Mauldon’s Cuckoo (4.3%) £3.05
Dixons Colour of Spring (4.2%) £2.95
Butcombe Gold (4.4%) £3.15
Batemans Eggs-B (4.2%) £2.95
4 April 2010
THIRD LAW OF TINTERNET part 2
I’m back in my usual seat in the corner of the kitchen. It’s a pew we bought from Anne’s church, St Peter in Eastgate, for £130. I’m told that the going rate at auction is £30 but what the heck. It’s charidee. £130 is what the new flexible seating costs per seat.
The church’s loss is my gain. As seats go it is absolutely rock solid. Bedded in by thousands of bottoms, mostly now dead and buried. There is something poetic about having it in the kitchen with me, a confirmed atheist, sat on it writing. I also eat on it of course. The kids fight to sit on it when we are eating.