where art collides philosoperontap

There are lots of different kinds of cheeses
Some with holes and some, which when you smell ‘em
blows your socks off to your kneeses
filling your head with lots of sneezes.

Not all cheese is holy,
except when eaten by a vicar
or an Archbishop of Canterbury.

Not all cheese is smelly
Unless left in the fridge too long
In which case it’ll start to pong.

Some cheese is blue, its true
The choice is yours
It’s down to you.

If you prefer orange or red or green
This type of cheese is often seen
Upon the supermarket shelf
And if eaten in moderation
Is said to be quite good for your elf.

Spreadable, dunkable, toastable cheese
Is sometimes all it takes to please
A yatchsman sailing on high seas.

But best of all is good old cheddar
A taste I learnt of from another
Who said it originates from a cow
I found it difficult to believe how,
When it clearly comes in a plastic cover
Bought in Tesco by my mother.

Bears don’t sit on chairs,
You see their bottoms are too hairy
And they’re really very heavy
So they don’t find perching easy.
When they come in from the woods
With their paws all wet with honey –
A chair can get quite sticky
And their mothers do get fussy
Because it makes the cushions smelly.
So when they watch the telly
They’re made to sit upon the floor
On a rug
Which is difficult to break
Unlike the chair
And they’re not allowed a drink
Because a spill could cause a stink
Which again their mums don’t like – I think..
Bears don’t sit on chairs.