Brussel sprout flavoured isosceles triangles
available from a good gastro geometric outlet near you,
banana trapezium, its full flavour slips down well at the gymnasium,
merry go round in toffee apple infused circles,
square noises chop through imperfect ponds and
glass fronted hurricane shop windows stir up
enthusiasms not yet tempered in pink.
Estate agents spin their ceramics on
bamboo pole extensions, losing the pattern
as simply as arboreal baby castanets,
discretion being valued as highly as
enthusiasm amid the placations of the assuaged.
The fire crackles on and the guitar rests
calmly on the spots of the sofa,
notwithstanding the variously striped cushions.
8 November 2009
sediment
VOGUE
Ralph Lauren and Jimmy Choo,
Louis Vuitton and Prada too.
The wonders of Tiffany,
A YSL epiphany.
See the Marc Jacobs catwalks,
Read the trend debates and talks.
Heels to die for,
Dresses girls cry for.
The do’s and dont’s,
The certainly won’ts.
But never do I see
A smile upon a single one
Of those models faces.
16 October 2009
John
How many times (in nearly a decade)
Did I hear him raise his voice?
And while others raucously their views made
Not he, ‘twas not his way nor choice.
Rather, he liked to take the middle ground
To mediate, to quell and smooth
The clanging cymbal of the “I am” sound,
Conflict? He’d rather deflect and soothe.
I did hear him raise his voice to sing of Love
And although no Caruso he,
God and His angels rejoiced high above
“A Christian sings! Praise be! Praise be!”
He wondered long at the limitless sky,
At hands that flung stars into space.
Together we’ll sit and watch Red Dwarfs die
When we meet in another place.
I read a poet called Whitman who wrote
“A reasonable man achieves naught”
But JW realised something of note
When those to the Cross, he brought.
Leek Pie for Two
Leek Pie for Two
“Back to the future” they say
Surely they mean back to the past?
When two suddenly became three –
And another was place set
Eighteen brief years
Of that extra place mat
And then a lifetime
Of cooking for two
“As long as he’s happy, we’re fine”
“We can do what we want now”
But what I want to do
Is cook again for three
3 October 2009
The function room is back!
It’s been a while.
Sometimes you get a feeling and when it comes you just have to follow your instincts. It works for rooms just as much as the punters that occupy them.
So we lost the function room.
It went, disappeared, vamoosed to a place where function rooms go where no-one even knew it was there, where nobody could book it or ask questions. Can we change the seating? Do you do food? Can we have a late bar?
What went wrong?
No-one knows for sure. We got there for early doors one evening and there was the sign: “Function room closed until further notice”. What had happened? Human curiosity took momentary hold but none of the bar staff would come clean. Perhaps they really didn’t know. It was a mystery.
It was there one day and gone the next.
It spent time out of our lives which were poorer without it but we coped. We soon forgot it had been there at all. Occasionally someone would bring it up in conversation but by and large it had gone. Then we stopped talking about it and went back to our usual beer-inspired bar room banter. Where’s the cheapest place to buy car batteries? One hundred and one ways to cook with mushrooms. Guaranteed ways of getting an upgrade to business class on a long haul flight! Not!
Where did it go?
Only it can tell us that. Function rooms are notoriously discrete. What goes inside a function room stays inside a function room. It’s part of the contract. It’s what makes the relationship work. It’s kind of special. And anyway it wasn’t there for us to ask.
Then one evening we came in.
Something was different! Something had changed. We looked around. The condiment tray was there in its usual place on the mantelpiece. The blackboard had a different list of guest beers but that was normal. Guest beers come and go.
I looked at the notice board.
I probably stared at it for some time before the realisation hit me. I was only half concentrating, listening to the conversation at the small round table where I was sat. There it was! A new posting shouting at me in bold black lettering on white paper .
“The Function Room Is Back”
The staff carried on as if it had never been away. Nobody mentioned that time in our lives where it had not been a part of our lives. We still carried on talking our undoubtedly witty conversations, the meaningless drivel that should stay inside the pub, where it belongs.
But now there was more.
Christmas Parties @ The Victoria. Bookings now being taken. Speak to the events coordinator at Charlotte House (or Neil).
The function room is back!
26 September 2009
just desserts or poetic puddings
chocolate cheesecake (other flavours too)
sherry trifle (ahaa)
apple tart and custard (yep)
jam roly poly (okay)
chocolate mousse (other mousses are available)
bread and butter pudding
rice pudding (not a particular favourite I have to say)
rhubarb crumble (neither is this)
plum pudding (mmm)
steamed sponge pudding
sticky toffee pudding (uhuh)
ice cream (Davison’s Manx Ice Cream)
fruit salad (healthy option)
strawberries and cream (definitely especially with raspberries added in and topped with sugar)
lemon curd (ye-es – not yess)
lemon meringue pie (memories of childhood)
syllabub (in a champagne glass in my experience and never enough of it)
baked apples (bit boring in my book)
tiamisu (mm)
yoghurt (pronounced yo – gurt)
baked alaska (brrr)
barbecued bananas (ideally cooked with sugar and brandy then topped with cream)
flan (of all sorts though not quiche which is unsuitable as a dessert)
gateaux (fluffy ones are best)
and finally
cheese and biscuits (strong and smelly and including TUC and preferably eaten before the sweet and washed down with red wine)
sorry if I have missed anything out – comment if you like
22 September 2009
For the record the first leaves fell today
For the record the first leaves fell today,
The first act of autumn
As the season holds sway,
The swath of russett, withering wound,
Scars the hedgerow, then lies bloodless on the ground.
The rake renews the grassy sheen
Though thankless is the temporary stay,
For tomorrow battle will renew,
Continued work aplenty
As night descends on day.
17 September 2009
My squeaky left foot
My shoe my shoe, it’s driving me nuts
Alternate steps squeak, no ifs no buts
I’ve altered my gait, tried to change my tread,
Every other pace taken makes a sound that I dread,
When walking along my damn foot’s too noisy,
And oil is no option because that’s too slippery
It wasn’t like that when I tried on the shoe
It seemed perfectly fine when it was brand new
But now it’s at home and I’ve worn it around
It’s too late to take back to the shop I’ll be bound
I can’t sneak up on friends and surprise from behind
They can tell that I’m coming coz the squeak springs to mind
My shoe my shoe, I’d be ever so glad
If someone could help me, it’s driving me mad
16 September 2009
All trains delayed
All trains delayed
Overhead line problems
At Peterborough
Huge queues milling
On the platform
At Kings Cross
It isn’t quite the same
As the spirit
At Dunquerque
Adversity has not yet
united us – we are not
At one with each other
The commuters are tired
This is the last thing they need
At going home time.
8 September 2009
internet dreams
I dream my internet dreams
asleep surfing the screens
that lay inside my eyelids,
long slammed shut.
my brain clicks,
flits its way webward
visiting the sites that,
wide awake, I meander,
pondering the theft of
my most precious days.
my internet dreams
take an ethereal existence
virtually to new heights
but all too soon I wake,
history wiped clear,
no bookmark beneath my pillow
and my journey starts again.
4 September 2009
Skegness by the sea
sand blows in my face as together on the towel, we huddle,
a solitary woman sits with a bucket and spade whilst her kids play at the edge of the waves
no sharks sneak up and snaffle
a child spouts ad hoc poetry:
armpit hair
underwear
people who don’t care
boys who won’t share
4 people sitting in a row on camping chairs facing outwards
a young mother struggles with her pushchair over the sand and shouts “Tylor James wait for me!”
windmills out at sea
windbreaks wrap around their people and red and yellow flags brace themselves in the breeze
a fairground in the background dips large, rolls along the coast, big wheel sliding off the pier
lifecrew
my hat blows off in the wind and I envisage equally windswept coasts opposite in Germany and Holland
plenty of photographic opportunities:
two red and blue kites flying in breeze
donkeys turning
towels flapping
a basketball bounces on the path behind
a man appears out of the water wearing long white swimming shorts and a white old fashioned vest contrasting with his black skin
icecream, lollipops, burgers, whelks, crab sticks, doughnuts, haddock and chips with fluorescent mushy peas, cups of tea
flat stones skimming
seagulls squatting, floating
large clouds hovering, watching
smaller clouds higher up move more quickly
children fleeing chased by brown waves
slot machines, twopenny falls, horseracing
international bowling
out of the bushes comes an explorer
he says”cor blimey mate”
and back to the car we go
2 September 2009
Quality
20mm tonight they said on the radio.
Doesn’t bother me I said,
Then I went to the grandstand
And saw people mud-wrestling,
Hang on, no, they’re walking to their tents on the old pitch and putt.
A joke in there I thought (dimly).
Can’t imagine doing this any more but
Perhaps in a different country, like Robert Pirsig did.
My second time through the book was finished today.
It’s the later edition with the postscipt.
Memorable. Like the MGP but more upsetting for the majority.
Let us know if you’ve read it as a parent or a son or a daughter.
27 August 2009
flatpack dreams
here dreams are sold
registered on the system
and brought through
for home assembly
in the comfort
of your living room
chose a colour
pick a pattern
fabric feels good
shut your eyes
sit back and relax
flatpack dreams
aaahhh!
self assembly dreams
float on by
discount dreams
50% off
for this weekend only
dream on
23 August 2009
the sea
sparkling sapphire sea,
full of fish and dolphins,
glittering fins break the suface,
but then,
waves roll,
no longer calm and smooth,
but rough and choppy,
no fins break the surface now,
what was perfect is now ready to kill.
21 August 2009
The Americans
After 25 years you’re back they all said; we’ve been waiting.
I’ve been oh so busy my response – weak perhaps.
I can now see how they won the war, again.
I really enjoy American company and always have. Florida is very cosmopolitan but elsewhere less so.
What a great country, makes us look rather insignificant I feel.