wobble bottle

February 27th, 2010

We all need a bit of stability in our lives. For some it is easier than others.

Middle England

February 24th, 2010

With a million single mothers all sponging off the state
The need for right wing government simply cannot wait.
Our streets are crammed with buggies, it really is a bore
the way it spoils our school-run in our Audi four-by-four.

The little bastards’ parents if daddy can be caught,
Should be forced to marry or encouraged to abort.
If not, then stop their benefits, it simply could not fail.
Well, that’s what Richard Kay said in last week’s Daily Mail.

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Tramp

February 23rd, 2010

Tramp

Homeless Dog

February 23rd, 2010

Copy of homeless_dog_

Drunks

February 23rd, 2010

drunks 1

Bridge

February 23rd, 2010

bridge_

Coal miner

February 23rd, 2010

Coal Miner

Sitting Girl

February 23rd, 2010

sitting_girl

deep within life

February 23rd, 2010

you came into this world
born to a life of sin
your elders gather round
smiling deep from within

the new dawn is here
sun beating down
no wind around, too much heat
your strength will never be beat

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Mascot

February 21st, 2010

At 1 o’clock the ground was already bustling with people as the mascot reported for duty. The parking attendant orchestrated. A room at the back of the club shop provided the kit for the day.

Yellow stewards bibs abounded. Black clad doormen, wired for sound, occasionally touched an ear and accepted his presence as he entered the inner sanctum, a place known only to players, managers and mascots, the elite.

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Life’s a struggle

February 21st, 2010

Life’s a struggle, when you are a paperboy and it has been snowing all night. As I drove out to get some coal in the Jeep this morning I passed a paperboy trying to make headway on his bike. It somehow made me think of the Pony Express and how the mail must get through.

In this case it wasn’t just the mail. It was the Sunday Times, Telegraph, Express, News of the Screws and others. This doesn’t quite bring the same sense of urgency especially as I long since stopped taking a Sunday paper in favour of reading it all on the internet.

Returning with a boot full of fuel and birdseed I saw another paperboy laden down with a heavy shopping trolley. His face was a picture of grit and determination, the attraction of payday on a Saturday outweighing the obstacles to getting the job done.

Guest Beers at the Victoria, Union Road, Lincoln

February 20th, 2010

Hook Norton Old Hook 4.6% £3.15
Batemans GHA 4.2% £2.95
Batemans Hooker 4.5% £ 2.95
Hook Norton Double Stout 4.8% £3.25
Spectrum Spring Promise 4.5% £3.15

the break

February 18th, 2010

master class

what is this thing called snow?

February 18th, 2010

snow covered palm trees, somewhat out of place
snow bathing, it’s no use if a tan is the target
snow joke for the lifeguard, coldly surveying the scene
there’s no business, like the UK February half term holiday

the snow – it came, it went, it was soon forgotten. a mythological entity, historical curiosity, or both.

Resistible

February 17th, 2010

I have a somewhat homely face,

my nose is wrong, I’m told,

and my body never would have graced a Playgirl centrefold.

But though I’m no Lothario,

I own  a natural charm,

I’ve always had a woman on my arm.

 

But the supply’s run dry.

I think I know why.

 

My bloom of youth has faded,

my mirror tells the truth,

my joie-de-vivre is jaded,

I’m too long in the tooth.

 

Affairs unfold so rarely now,

sporadic, inconsistent,

the last one was so long ago,

my love-life’s nonexistent.

 

Since then there hasn’t been a nibble,

not a soupcon, not a trace;

no maiden, ms or errant miss

has even granted me a kiss.

 

The upshot’s this:

I’ve become resistible.