wild night of fearful darkness
leaves chased freely by the wind
a tree falls
December 30, 2011
December 9, 2011
December 8th 2011 – the last day of the roaring forties
It’s the last day of my roaring forties. I guess they did roar and will finish loudly. Today I am traveling 1st class on the train from Lincoln heading to London. A busy day of industrialism followed by the Trefor.net Xmas tweetup at the St Pancras Renaissance hotel.Before I set off I tapped the barrel of Timothy Taylor’s Landlord bitter (my favourite) ready for the party on Saturday. Just a few friends round out house for a jazz session and to play some old disco favourites:) Tomorrow will be a civilised day spent relaxing, perhaps getting a haircut and then in the evening going out to see Erv in a piano recital.I’ve been looking forward to my 50th. When I got to 40 I wondered what all the fuss was about. 50 seems to be a much more significant milestone. Why is this?
At this point life seems to be a contradiction. 50 I imagine is an age of respectability. A time where a person would historically look back, bask in the fruits of success and begin the slow and inevitable glide into old age.
That’s the bit I don’t understand. From where I stand 50 looks like a launch pad. A place from which to increase the pace of life and go on to greater things. There is plenty yet to achieve. Life should continually overshadow the past.
The respectability thing is a difficult one to grasp. How can someone as clearly irresponsible as me hope to live up to an image that goes with 50? It isn’t that I don’t recognise the responsible part of the outer me. I hear me speak. I see people Looking at me and listening. There is plenty of evidence of the responsible me.
Inside though I am still the 19 year old occupying the ladies cubicle at the New Strand Inn in Douglas making the girls queue up, with their handbags. I am still the kid who skived off General Studies classes at school to go and play pool and who woke up our form teacher who was taking a nap at lunchtime by playing pitch and toss against his door.
There is evidence of change since that time. The house, 4 kids, the widening girth! The fact that I can no longer run the 10k in under an hour!! Just a temporary aberration I’m sure.So some good, some not so good but life is all about change and it just needs embracing.
December 4, 2011
Aspirations for winter
This winter I will trim the hedge. I will prune the fruit trees. I might work on the lawn, left over the years to the childhood ravages of wrestling, football, cricket and rugby, of golf divots and tunnels to Australia. I will chop the wood, lain drying by the back fence for longer than a season. I will fix the gutter by the door to the garden.
This winter I will go for walks that make my cheeks glow, returning to steamed up spectacles, defrosting in front of the fire. I will consume vast amounts of crumpets dripping with butter and polish off bottles of wine in the kitchen whilst preparing the Sunday roast.
December 3, 2011
Move it on!
I’m playing Meatloaf. LOUD! Can you hear it? I’m a reb. No cares. No responsibilities. Don’t give me orders. I do what I feel. Turn it up. Move it on. Blues Brothers. Eagles. Dexy’s. Jimmy Somerville. Queen. Frankie Goes To Hollywood. Get my drift? My head nods. Intensity. Focus.
November 30, 2011
Ann is 48 today
48, that’s progress, one on from 47 but a little while away from five oh
48, that’s symmetry, four be two be four
48, that’s unimaginably old, if you’re ten
the wisdom of 48 years accumulates, steadily
48, 48, 48, 48, 48, 48, 48, 48, 48, 48 said ten times quickly
means nothing really though add in a tune and 48 bars
and hopefully we find you on song for your 48th birthday
Cariad
Tref
November 18, 2011
Apologist
I love peace, but see the necessity in war;
And believe in equality, yet make excuses for greed.
November 5, 2011
Drifting into November
We have drifted into November like leaves blown gently against a hedge. A climbing rose clings stubbornly pink to the archway in the back garden but there is little left to cover the gangly apple visible through the curved frame. It is a peaceful time. The belly is full.
October 20, 2011
Another notch on the season’s belt
I turned the heating on today. Another notch on the season’s belt. I’m feeling strangely calm, important decision made. That’s it. We won’t be going back. What now? Winter’s approach. Nosebiting cold. Wait for the storm.
October 8, 2011
What’s it going to be like with the Olympics?
…whatsis name now oh hang on, Vince Cable worra lump of wood – its unbelievable they don’t know nothing guv they don’t know what’s going on in the country. God they should get themselves out and about a bit more guv, they should get themselves out west, go west.
You’ve only got to go 8 miles, 10 miles west the whole area, the whole area Ruislip, Ickenham, Hillingdon, Feltham, Hayes, Pakistanis and Bangladeshis. Slough is a war zone, the police won’t even come out in Slough. You call the police they won’t even bother to come out. They’ve got the Rumanians, the Bulgarians, the Poles they stand on street corners, 20 or 30 men. 20 or 30 of them there they stand on street corners and all they’re looking at is to kill each other. It’s unbelievable. It’s unbelievable and we’ve let it go and it’s too late now to stop it.
I’m a bit upset today because I was playing golf this morning but (more…)
October 2, 2011
The October Paradox
Tshirt and shorts with bare feet contrast with the hard to walk on lawn covered in wrinkle dry leaves painful to the naked touch. The start of autumn and end of the summer overlap, rugby replacing cricket but rainless scorch remains. Panic strikes a production-eased ice cream industry settling down for the off season. Perspiration drips off my nose and onto the table.
September 13, 2011
Rich
Money doesn’t talk,
confidence talks;
and money gives you the confidence…
… to talk.
But confidence drives you,
to explore beyond a world rich with money;
to find a rich world…
… about which, you can talk.
September 3, 2011
Don’t you ever……
Think there’s meaning when there’s not
Think it’s kindness when it’s sympathy
Think you are right when you know you are wrong
Buy a camera to improve your photography
Play sport but look forward to the last whistle not the first
Look for reason in violence on the telly only to find you want to watch it anyway
Play the waiting game. Too long. Because you are too polite.
Say you are not feeling 100% even though you can’t explain what is wrong
Wonder if an exam is the fairest way to judge ability.
September 1, 2011
August 20, 2011
Gortenbuie
All is calm in the land of giants,
On a rare windless day,
Water the only sound,
Life has stopped.
The sheep, still in the roofless cottage,
Belongs there as much as any,
Regular visitor, like us it has not moved
As the heavens move all.
The generations have not returned,
Chilled hearth, three chimneys,
One lofty precious pot survives,
Defiant, hope in an unforgiving land.
Two oaks guard the ruin,
Glacial debris,
Turf covered stone,
The eagle, the stag and the mountain hare.
Revolutions pass and global markets crash
But here the peace is deep,
Across the glen shadows creep,
Expectations of tomorrow.
Time rediscovered, absent clock,
Decisions of the day fundamental,
Seconds counted by the foot, unscientific measure,
Tired, we lie in our beds and absorb the noise.
August 7, 2011
Scottish roadside signs
Soft tyres waste fuel
Always wear a lifejacket on or near water
Be a courteous driver
Don’t drive tired
Watch your speed
Drive carefully
Drive to road conditions
Tiredness can kill, take a break
Heavy rain and flooding forecast, drive with care
Don’t text while driving, don’t risk it
Back over the border the nature of the signs changed:
A1 (S) night closure, 14th August