3rd law prose


click here for Part 2

I’ve been potting some chilli plants. Got the seeds a few weeks ago in Focus Do It All and sowed them in a tray in the conservatory. As if by magic the seedlings started to come through and got to a point where I deemed it appropriate to move them into pots. In all I have 20 or so, some of which I have moved outside and one that I took In to the office. When I am not in my room I jack the aircon temperature up as high as it will go. He he he. Looking forward to plenty of burn later in the year when I get harvesting.

I’m not really a gardener. I live just down the road from Tesco. However it is sometimes nice to do gardening type stuff. Usually it is a rush of blood that gets things into the ground but after that the weeds take control. Pesky things :). I did plant a lot of peas one year and managed to get a couple of portions out of it all. Shame really because freshly picked peas are the best. Problem is you need to plant them in industrial quantities to get a sensible amount. You do in our allotment anyway.

We are quite lucky in having an allotment over the back fence. It’s the plot nearest our house and we have a gate opening into it. The initial enthusiasm waned years ago and now we grow mostly weeds. Adrian over the back has taken half of it. He puts us to shame. they haven’t got any kids mind you so they have that luxury called time.

Ade (I don’t call him that – don’t know if anyone does, or Aidy come to that) is a lecturer in Economics at the University and he is also a dab hand at the piano. Can play anything. We have on occasion had a jam with me on the geetar and him on keyboards. Don’t do it often enough really. Last Christmas he and Sian didn’t make it to our usual singsong bash but fortunately we had Ervin the Hungarian Concert Pianist turn up out of the blue.

I had not met Erv before but he was a real revelation. He and Joe and I played a few jazz numbers. We went on until quite late. It’s good to have a solid pianist in the trio – keeps the whole set going. Ours is one of those electric keyboards with zillions of different sound options.

We had a normal piano when I was a kid in Cardiff. I seem to recall dad inheriting from someone and carting halfway across Wales. I might be wrong. Anyway the point is that having had a few lessons none of the kids really took to it and came the day of reckoning where it had to go. It was just taking up too much room in the house. Rather than pay to remove it dad just took a sledgehammer to it and demolished it in the back garden. We made a coffee table out of the polished side panel. That was one expensive coffee table.

I remember having piano lessons off Mrs Ryan Davies. Ryan was a famous Welsh comedian from the Ryan and Ronnie duo. Bit like a Welsh Morecambe and Wise. I didn’t think anything of the fact that I was in his house for the piano lessons. Ryan died quite young. He had a similar problem to Dylan Thomas apparently.

A few years ago my sister Sue and I went to Laugharne to visit Dylan Thomas’ home. It was where he wrote many of his famous poems. As a source of inspiration it is a wonderful little place. Small seaside town., plenty of bird life. Probably didn’t have many tourists before Dylan Thomas settled there and died. Thanks a bunch Dyl, the locals probably said. Does bring money into the local economy though, I suppose, although we didn’t pay to go into his house. Skinflints of what? It’s only a house for goodness sake.

On the way there Sue got a bit irritated because I was talking in an exaggerated South Wales accent. So I stopped. Then when we got to Laugharne I noted the fact that there was a Dylan Thomas tea room (very nice – I had Welsh Cakes). Continuing with the theme I pointed out many other Dylan Thomas features. The Dylan Thomas Post Office. The road that Dyl used to walk along to the pub. The lamppost that he would lean against on his way home, the Dylan Thomas bench, where he would stop for a rest and also the bush that he would stop to pee behind. This all got to Sue in the end so I had to stop that too ?.

Sue’s a violinist you know. We are a very musical family.

Outside as I write it is a classic spring day – cold and wet. There is a bit of sunshine poking through which does bring a very small ray of hope for the rest of the day. Not sure what the forecast is though. More cold and rain probably. It is very reassuring, this British weather. It it was nice all the time we wouldn’t like it. I wouldn’t anyway. I don’t think that makes me a weirdo. It’s just what we are used to.

I can’t imaging going on holiday somewhere hot and spending all my time lying on the beach for two weeks. I don ‘t like the sand anyway although the view does sometimes provide compensations. We did once go to Mick Hynan’s place in Spain. It was too hot for me really though we did have a good time.

I bought a Spanish Guitar from Cartagena. I liked the idea of going to Cartagena. It evoked romantic thoughts of the Spanish main and fighting against Spanish Galleons. Also reminded me of the Laurie Lee book “As I walked Out One Midsummer Morning”. It’s the one where he walks round Spain playing the violin for his upkeep.

That book was a real inspiration to me when I was a student. It made me want to get up and go somewhere. At the end of the Summer Term I bought a rucksack, packed some basics and stuck my thumb out. I had with me a piece of cardboard with “St Tropez” written on it. Believe it or not I made it to St Tropez. I didn’t like it there though. It was far too expensive so I moved on and found myself in Greece. It’s a longer story than I have time for here – after all we are talking tinternet time – but I will tell it one day.

It’s quite amazing that tinternet didn’t exist when I were a student. Nether did mobile phones, or PCs. Didn’t do me any harm! Time must have dragged in those days. Spent most of it in cafes and pubs. Isn’t that what students do? I’m just looking forward to when I can do that all again. Probably won’t hitch hike to Greece though. More likely to fly, or take a boat maybe.

I’ve been thinking about buying a medium sized yacht and sailing off into the sunset, although if I was heading east to Greece it would obviously not be into the sunset. Probably never happen. I’d have to learn about navigation and stuff like that. We shall see. There’salso the problem of the money to pay for it.

I’ve never had any money. That’s not to say money doesn’t come into the bank account every month. I am a salaryman. Somehow it never seems to stick around. It’s why I only take £50 out of the bank at a time. If I took £100 out it would last the same amount of time as the £50. There must be something in that, just like the Third Law of Tinternet. It’s probably called Keynes’ Theorem of Cashflow or some similar title. I’m not going to look it up though. In case I’m disappointed and there isn’t one although that would of course mean that I had invented it myself in which case it would be Tref’s Theorem of Cashflow.

I remember being the first to get a round in in the Morning Star a few years ago. Many years ago actually. Anyway the point is having got the first round in and then everyone else taking their turn it came around to me again. I ordered the drinks for everyone then found out that the twenty pounds I had in my wallet was not twenty pounds. In fact it wasn’t any pounds. Anne had pinched it thinking, reasonably fairly, that the first twenty pounds would be enough. As it happened the beer had flowed freely and we had a few Sheilas in tow drinking exotic stuff like gin and tonic which had seemed to up the total cost of a round. The absence of cash actually got me out of paying for the round though you can’t use that one too often.

It’s like using your grandmother’s funeral as an excuse to skive off work. You can only use it twice. Both mine died years ago though I’m not sure that anyone in the office knows that. Hmm…

Go to 3rd law part 4

By Trefor Davies

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4 replies on “THIRD LAW OF TINTERNET Part 3”

Sue’s a violinist you know…. But she would have been a pianist if dad and Geraint hadn’t taken the piano out into the garden and smashed it to smithereens. Don’t remember anyone asking me whether I wanted piano lessons with Ryan Davies’ wife. And the coffee table was rubbish. It had a wobbly leg as I remember. But I’m not bitter. It’s easier to carry a violin.

we only ad recorders when I were at school. we is not musical. I do envy those families that are. nice one.
c x

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