where art collides

There may be a lot of bad karma flying around right now but sometimes you have to stay focussed on the important things in life. Does Santa prefer whisky or brandy? It isn’t a question of whether some other beverage needs to be included in the list. It’s either whisky or brandy.

I can understand that some parents might not want to introduce their younger offspring to the concept that Father Christmas may be partial to a drop or two, not totally squeaky clean so to speak, and to persuade them that milk is an appropriate and wholesome drink to offer someone who at the end of the day (when all is said and done) is working a long shift.

It may be that he doesn’t care whether it is whisky or brandy in which place there is no way forward for this discussion. One relevant line of debate could relate to the quality of the spirit on offer. After all we know Santa doesn’t really drink it. It’s the parent wot leaves it out who knocks it back once the kids are safely tucked in and in the land of nod. On that basis it makes sense to leave the good stuff out. After all if Santa really did drink it he would very quickly become so pissed he would stop caring about the quality.

Rudolf and the gang must be quite used to carting a totally senseless Santa around the skies. Maybe it’s the elves that actually climb down the chimney and do the biz. It’s certainly not a one man job. I know this from experience as it took me and my dad to assemble the trampoline in the back garden all those years ago. 

The concealment of said substantial piece of garden furniture took some organisation. On Christmas Eve Anne took them off out somewhere for the afternoon whilst the trampo came together and upon their return it was soon dark, a fortunate deep mid winter feature of the latitude at which we live.

Anyway I’m a brandy man although I don’t have any particularly good stuff in the cupboard. It’s v expensive and doesn’t last very long for some reason 😉

Now only two days to go and time to get really focussed on Christmas. I must say that our tree, which is a good shaped piece of wood is fast losing its needles. I’m wondering whether this is because we have the heating on a lot more due to having my dad staying with us although the living room where it resides doesn’t seem to be inordinately hot. Did I not put enough water in the base? I dunno. I think it will just about last.

Most of the Christmas prep is done. I will need to check the veg sitch today. Just one more trip to Waitrose and then maybe another tomorrow to get the bread. I also have a bit of work to get out of the way sometime today. A frame agreement with one of our biggest customers. Oh and also dad’s tax submission, Urgh. 

Tomorrow morning it’s golf with my sons Tom, Joe and John. Just a bit of fun around the 9 holes at Whisby. Nothing too serious. Back home by lunchtime and then get in the zone. Maybe prep the parsnips in parmesan cheese. A few other bits like that. I need to dig up the parsnips which I’ll do today. The last crop of the year. Might even find the odd remaining carrot in the raised beds. Exciting eh?

Then as afternoon eases into evening I listen to 9 lessons and carols. It’s the right thing to do. This year in the absence of a pub to go to we are gathering for drinks in the shed early doors. Then it’s a Swiss cheese fondue followed by carol singing around the fire in the front room. Hannah has brought her flute, Joe will be on piano and horn and John on sax. The timing for the evening is somewhat governed by the carer arriving at 19.30 to get dad ready for the bed. He won’t want to miss out on any of it. Maybe we do the carol singing tonight. V shall c.

We have our traditions at this time of year. Not all of them we will adhere to in 2020. As I write it makes me wonder what others do around the world? What will the staff at the Venice Beach Hotel where we stayed in February be doing on Christmas Eve? Is it a big thing in LA? The hotel is probably closed and the staff holed up at home with no cash to celebrate anything. Tough times.

On a totally different note they got the Lincoln Eastern Bypass open in time for Christmas. It was supposed to take perhaps 20% of the traffic off the road in front of our house. This is clearly a good thing but I have no sense as to whether this has actually happened. The combination of covid lockdown and the time of year where most people are probably already on holiday means the traffic is lower than normal anyway. Also most of the lorries are probably stuck in a queue outside Dover due to the French having closed their borders with the UK. Fair play.

Anyway it’s 6.30am and I have to go and make the tea. Oh and the right answer must surely be brandy. Remy Martin XO as a minimum 🙂

Sat here in the shed my immediate thought is that I need a haircut. What again do I hear you say? You had one in the summer and it is only Christmas. Yes yes I know but I need a hair cut. I also need a shave, some exercise and to cut down on eating junk and drinking beer, wine and gin.

I’m probably not alone.

I want to do most of the above, the exception being the drinking bit. We have a lot of catching up to do in the pub and there is a time and place for that particular strand of abstinence. We need an out and out pissup. Not a remote virtual job over zoom. One where people crack crap jokes and everyone laughs even though the joke is probably not funny. One where you lose track of how many pints you have had or what is sensible or even whose round it is.

Then we go for a ruby. And get a taxi home even though it is eminently walkable.

Snorrapnin. We have forgotten what it was like to live a normal life doing normal things. It’s almost as if we are each in our own spaceship on a long journey to distant galaxy and have only ourselves to talk to. Ok there are screens everywhere and you can easily communicate with distant friends and relations but it ain’t the same.

We are having to adjust to the changing coronavirus landscape. My sister Sue is no longer coming up to Lincoln for Christmas. Cardiff is in Tier 4. She will now be on her own for Christmas. It’s the same story all over the shop. We are all effectively in lockdown again. Ok the barber is open as is the pool but not really had the chance to use the latter due to a combination of busy with work and busy sorting out dad.

There is no point in my discussing 2020, the year that never was. At least we got our Californian holiday in February. That potentially marks the high point of our travel adventures with no real visibility of any more to come and a distinct feeling that habits are going to change in future. 

…

It’s later and I am back in the shed for our annual Capacity Yorkshire pub crawl. Except it ain’t happening this year so we are doing a short online few beers on the date we would have been wandering around the public houses of York. It’s been an institution in recent years. To qualify you have to be a northerner (ish) and run the internet.

…

For me the brightest bit of news this year, if you can forgive the pun, is the conjunction of Jupiter and Saturn which happens tonight. Not sure I ever previously gave the word conjunction any consideration especially in celestial terms and I’m not about to dwell on it now but I thought it worth a mention 🙂

The other bit of brightness in 2020 was the ousting of Donald Trump from the US Presidency. I refrained from calling him President Trump because a more unpresidential individual  you could not find. The amazing thing is the fact that people voted for him in the first place. We could say the same thing about BoJo the chimpanzee here in the UK.

As I write the queues of lorries are piling up on the motorways outside Dover and Calais. Somewhat ironic really considering that this was supposed to have been the result of a no deal brexit. Feels as if Europe has slammed the door shut on the UK a few days early. Symbolic of “our” handling of the year really.

It is difficult to look ahead beyond the next few days. We have plans for 2021 that include running the Beyond The Woods Festival in August, heading to Rome in June to watch Wales play Italy at football and the new season of campervan rentals. We assume it will all happen but who knows?

In the meantime it is Christmas (hope you’ve been good). We haven’t had our usual carol session so this year we are going to do it just as a family around the fire on Christmas Eve. Most of the food shopping is in hand. I do need to buy some smoked salmon, some more vino and probably a bit of veg. Fortunately we have some lettuce and limes – important now that salad leaves and citrus fruits are being put forward as candidates for shortages in the light of the border closures.

Yesterday was the winter solstice. The days are now extending bringing with them the suggestion of hope for the future. Not sure many of us feel the optimism that should accompany this. We are hunkered down and in survival mode.

Have the best Christmas you can under the circumstances and a far better 2021 🙂

Feels a little like the end of the first world war. The armistice has been signed but the bullets haven’t stopped yet. A vaccine has been announced but the virus is still out there killing people…

Booked lane swimming session for 12.5 on Monday.

In parental news had to nip out to the chemist to buy dad some antacid stuff suggested by sister Ann (our in house GP). He didn’t eat the magnificent breakfast I cooked for him and served up in suitably small portions: home made hash browns, Foster’s spicy Lincolnshire farmhouse sausage with dry cured bacon, organic cherry tomato, a small chestnut mushroom and a small slice of sourdough fried bread. I had the same but slightly more of it innit.

All is now quiet. I missed the Festival management meeting so that’s been postponed to tomorrow. I do want to get some garlic bulbs planted which I’ll do before lunch. This year’s batch was a bit disappointing so I’m hoping that planting before Christmas will make the difference.

…

Garlic planted, red currant bush lifted, more Anne’s Vans setup. Lunch was toasted sourdough baguette with cheese spread, spring onions and chopped chillies. Discovering that the chillies are quite hot 🙂

…

Bit of a rugby watching afternoon and evening innit.

A month of Lockdown 2. I guess whilst Lockdown 2 officially finished 2 days ago because we are in Tier 3 it hasn’t really finished except the gym and shops are now open. Tomorrow I will be able to book a lane swimming slot for Monday.

Outside it is chucking it down and the forecast is for snow although it won’t stick as the temperature isn’t due to go below zero (other than the fact that the “feels like” value is minus 4). 

Joe goes back to London today and I am in theory dropping Anne off at Doddington Hall where she is meeting some pals for socially distanced coffee. Not sure how that one will work as like I said the weather is terrible. The plan is for me to buy a Christmas tree whilst there.

The weather is strangely comforting. I think it’s the sound of the rain on the conservatory roof. Maybe it’s because weather like this reminds me of my childhood in North Wales. I’ll light the fire in the front room this afternoon methinks.

Coming back to the Lockdown subject I’m pondering when we can officially say Lockdown is really over. Maybe when we get back to Tier 1 and can meet friends in the pub.

…

Now in the shed and in opening this doc the thought Chinese dentist sprung to mind. Tooth hurtee. Childhood joke that probably didn’t get us laughing even then 🙂

The roof of the shed is quite noisy. It not only gets the rain/snow but also the fallout of the evergreen oak tree that is above it. If it isn’t rain it is pigeons. I bought Solomon the Owl to put on the roof of the shed to see if it would keep the pigeons away but when I got it home I figured it would be better placed on the deck. Suspect the pesky pigeons would have seen through my ruse anyway and I didn’t want what is a substantial wooden sculpture blowing over and falling on the greenhouse. Moreover if it scared the pigeons it might have had a similar effect on smaller birds that I am happy to entertain in the garden.

Made some good progress with setting up Anne’s vans on the new site including setting up with the Stripe payment processor which I had thought might be a ballache but turned out not to be. Didn’t need business account after all so all the fuss with lloyds bank was unnecessary.

Finally picked up dad’s medication. 6 dossets for 6 weeks worth. Also did a Waitrose shop and of course forgot some of the stuff I had intended to buy: toothpaste and apple pies. Therefore went to Coop on carholme road after picking up the stash from pharmacy. Threw in some chocolate mini rolls, apple pies, a McVities Jamaica ginger cake and a box of maltesers. Might as well give dad a few treats. Held the maltesers back as not totes sure whether I should be overdosing him with chocolates. See how it goes.

Tonight we had vegetable curry. Joe is totes a dab hand at this. Afterwards we had a chat with the Cooksons and then sang some carols in the conservatory with Joe on keys. Was a bit emulsional doing that and determined that we would have Carol singing around the fire on Christmas Eve. This is the first year we haven’t had carol singing on Christmas Market Saturday in 30 years.

Had a bit of a setback with Lloyds Bank today. We need a new business bank account for Anne’s Vans but Lloyds aren’t letting anyone open new accounts. This is a real pain in the arse as we need to sign up with Stripe for credit card processing. I complained and they put me through to someone whose job it is to handle complaints. However he told me it was absolutely useless to complain as they wouldn’t do anything about it. Really crap customer service. Holding back business progress. It hasn’t endeared me to Lloyds bank and will consider whether to stick with them in future.

Hastily written entry on my phone in bed early on day 29. Busy day yesterday. The issue (whatever it was) blocking dad’s prescription from reaching the pharmacy has been sorted. Also amazingly got through on phone to surgery a few minutes. The record is 70 minutes and occasionally there have been so many people in the queue the system has just not accepted any more.

Also homing in on finishing off next year’s budget plus cracked on in the evening with Anne’s vans setup on new marketing site (more on that on 15th December). 

The big news is the approval of the pfizer covid19 vaccine for release. We now await messages from the docs inviting us in for the jab. When the invite will arrive is another issue.

In non lockdown news the brexshit negotiations are reaching a climax with boxes of pizzas being delivered at night to those involved. The sticking point is fishing quotas apaz. The fishing industry is tiny compared to others that would be massively impacted by no deal but for the tories is a very emotive subject. They have so much political capital at stake. I am enjoying watching tory infighting right now.

On day 28 my t-shirt and sticker from Four Seasons Total Landscaping arrived. Exciting eh? V expensive really for what you get but hey… Need to figure out where to put the sticker.

In other news December is well underway with minds on Christmas. Present purchasing has been underway for some time but family talk now is on what meals to have and who is cooking when. I need to get my mind around the food shop and buying the tree.

The length of this entry is governed by the fact that it is after 10.30 at night and I have less than 15% battery left on the laptop.

Up before 05.30 to finish the narration for a video I needed to get in to Cisco in advance of next week’s WebeOne virtual conference. Bout 2 weeks late but hey. Worked out ok in the end.

Bit of running around mid morning trying to sort dad’s prescription. Pharmacist hadn’t seen the “order” from the doc. Receptionist at the surgery saying it had been sent last Friday. In the end got them talking to each other and don’t yet know the outcome. Still time. Current lot runs out on Sunday and I knew to check early in case of issues. Contingency innit.

This morning’s loaf looked as if it hadn’t risen properly but the outcome after baking in a Dutch oven was actually not too bad. Problem is I get distracted with work and forget to do stuff. Same problem with cups of tea that go cold.

Tonight Liverpool beat Ajax to win their Champions League Group with one game to go. Means they can rest key players and give others a chance (expert talk here 🙂 ). 

Getting into a routine with dad. Tomorrow’s clothes ready on the chest outside his room etc. Same in the morning. Pills onto a saucer ready to be taken at 8am. Quite a bit of effort looking after him actually but I consider it a privilege. He has Parkinsons and is very weak. 

Busy work day. They are all busy. This evening did some Anne’s Vans stuff. We are using a new booking system and advertising on a 3rd party website that will remain nameless for the moment as they are planning a big launch on 15th December. Need to get it all done by this weekend.

7% battery – gotta go 🙂